You Gormster!

For those wondering what the definition of this slang term is.

As given by urbandictionary.com:

1. Gormster

A low level insult for the mildly retarded.
You stupid gormster! You're not supposed to feed the dog soap!


2. Gormster

Someone who is Gormless but you want to use a differant, more interesting term. (eg. Putting 'ster' on the end) The advantage to using this insult is that no one will no one what it means! (Not a Guarantee)
Matt: Hey Jack, you smell funny!

Jack: You're a complete gormster Matt.

Matt: What?

More Nursery Rhymes

Just in case you wanted some more, here is a pretty good site. Not only does it have a bunch of nursery rhymes available but a good percentage of them include a brief history on the origins of the songs.

enjoy.

http://www.zelo.com/family/nursery/

Nursey Rhymes

For those reading The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse you, like I, might need some refreshing on how some of those nursery rhymes mentioned in the book went.

Enjoy.

Humpty Dumpty:
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again!

Little Boy Blue:
Little Boy Blue, come blow your horn,
The sheep's in the meadow, the cow's in the corn.
Where is the boy who looks after the sheep?
He's under a haycock, fast asleep.
Will you wake him? No, not I,
For if I do, he's sure to cry.

Wee Willie Winkie:
Wee Willie Winkie
Runs through the town,
Upstairs and downstairs
In his nightgown.
Rapping at the windows,
Crying through the lock,
"Are the children all in bed?
For it's now eight o'clock.

Little Jack Horner:
Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner,
Eating a mincemeat pie.
He stuck in his thumb
And pulled out a plum,
And said, "What a good boy am I!"

Jack Sprat:
Jack Sprat could eat no fat,
His wife could eat no lean,
And so betwixt the two of them
They licked the platter clean

Little Tommy Tucker:
Little Tommy Tucker sings for his supper,
What shall we give him? Brown bread and butter.
How shall he cut it without a knife?
How shall he marry without a wife?

Little Miss Muffett:
Little Miss Muffet, sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey;
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffet away.

Georgie Porgie:
Georgie Porgie, puddin' and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
Georgie Porgie ran away.

Old Mother Hubbard:
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To fetch her poor dog a bone;
But when she came there
The cupboard was bare,
And so the poor dog had none.
She took a clean dish
To get him some tripe;
But when she came back
He was smoking a pipe.
She went to the grocer's
To buy him some fruit;
But when she came back
He was playing the flute.
She went to the baker's
To buy him some bread;
But when she came back
The poor dog was dead.
She went to the undertaker's
To buy him a coffin;
But when she came back
The poor dog was laughing.
She went to the hatter's
To buy him a hat;
But when she came back
He was feeding the cat.
The dame made a curtsey,
The dog made a bow;
The dame said, "Your servant."
The dog said, "Bow wow!"

September Book of the Month

The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse by Robert Rankin



In Robert Rankin’s latest warped fantasy, a serial killer is murdering notable nursery rhyme characters and leaving chocolate calling cards at the scene of each crime. Fast, demented fairytale–noir action—winner of the SFX Magazine Award for Best Book of the Year.

Toy Town… now older, bigger, and certainly not wiser. The Old Rich, who have made their millions from the royalties on their world–famous nursery rhymes, are being murdered. One by one. Horribly. A psychopath is on the loose. He must be stopped at any cost. It’s a job for Toy Town’s only detective—but he’s missing, leaving only Eddie Bear, and his bestest friend Jack, to track down the mad killer. A hilarious, very irreverent fantasy from the cult creator of Web Site Story, The Sprouts of Wrath, and the five–book Brentford Trilogy.

The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse by Robert Rankin

The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse tells the story of Jack, a small town factory worker, who moves to the city to find wealth and power. However when he finally makes it to the city, after avoiding a cannibalistic farmer, its not opportunity that he finds. What he finds instead is a collection of drug addicted, alcoholic, vice-ridden toys and nursery rhyme characters. Oh, and he finds one more thing...a demonic homicidal maniac bent on killing off all the humans in the city and taking over the world.

Now if that does not grab your attention, I don’t know what will.

Author Robert Rankin does a masterful job of telling this story with a quick wit that reads much like the classic absurdist play Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett. There are also a fair amount of post-modern features to the book. The main character Jack, who is coaxed into becoming the detective partner of a stuffed bear who is trying to solve this murder mystery, very often will compare their actions to the detective novel genre and use that as a guide to how they should respond in any given situation.

The stuffed bear, Eddie, is probably the best character in the book. He’ full of sawdust, loves to drink, and due to a mental condition cannot make corroborative nouns. So everything is, “as wet as”, “as drunk as”, “as dead as.”

If you are looking for a book with depth or some deeper meaning about humanity, culture or civilization this probably isn’t the book for you. If, on the other hand, you just want a book that will put a smile on your face then this book is as good as. This book was a fun read and perfect for a quick weekend read or long plane trip.